Palm Sunday – Del Rio Style

I am a little late with this blog, but better late than never right?  I mean that’s what people say.

As you know, a couple of weeks ago, it was Palm Sunday.  My friends who live in Africa had a great Palm Sunday and talked about the awesome worship and dancing and branches that everyone had.  Well at Del Rio – we have a new little Palm Sunday ritual of our own.

The worship was great – Jennifer did a knock out job of planning and then implementing that plan.  I had what I thought was a great message planned.  As I was preaching said message though, all H-E-double hockey sticks broke loose in the sanctuary.

Picture it.  There I was working my way to transition between my first point to my second point (yes, we really tend to be that processed as we preach otherwise we would be all over the place – you know those preachers that are all over the place – I know you already have a name in your head…)

All of a sudden a lady in the back of the church jumps up and throws her pillow into the aisle.  Pillow?!?! you ask.  Yes, pillow.  Some churches have shawls everywhere, we have pillows that match the pew cushions.  Well, this lady’s went hurling down to the floor.  Then the rest of the commotion ensued.  She grabbed said pillow and waved it back and forth through the air as she walked out, several people followed her into the foyer (which is completely windowed into our sanctuary) and I floundered.

I am sure, although I have yet to hear the recording, that I said, “And Jesus uh…” at least five or six times as I watched all of this go on and my ADD almost completely took over.   All the while, in my head I’m thinking,  ‘Andy, you’ve got to pull this together! ’ ‘All these people who sit in front of her don’t know what’s going on! ’ ‘Why does it take that many people to see what the problem is?’

Turns out the poor lady was stung in the rear by a wasp that had landed on her pillow during the last hymn before i preached.  It was a very interesting event at Del Rio that morning and hopefully not a new tradition.

i’m wondering if we might be having the same imaginary conversation

Don’t you hate it when you can’t think as quickly as you normally can?  You know, when you draw blanks more than you draw anything else?  It’s like when you are playing UNO and you need a yellow card or a three and all you pull is blue and green and all the threes are obviously in your wife’s hand, card hog!  You begin to get all flustered and then a little embarassed that someone will think less of you.  It’s not your fault that the deck of cards is out to make a fool of you, but for some reason, you just know that the people at the table are thinking, “Gosh, what’s wrong with him?  Why can’t he get it together?”  And then you find yourself praying over the deck and asking God for UNO playing grace.

I am a communicator by trade – it’s what I do as a minister and there is nothing more frustrating than when those days happen on a day when you have to teach.  Just about nothing is worse than when you can’t come up with words to express yourself as you are trying to communicate God’s Word.

I am not sure what brings these moments on, but I sure wish that they could go away.  What annoys me even more is when I am better on the fly than I am when I have taken the time to prepare.  You know those inevitable moments when someone has a question for the clergy-like-person and you have to say something insightful and help them with their question.  Or when a five your old comes to you and says,”Pastor Andy, what is blessed?”  In those times, I am able to draw the yellow three and the game moves on.  There is no awkward embarassment and no shunning of the other players involved.

I often find myself just conversing with myself and wondering what is wrong with my brain that it won’t come up with words like I need it to do.  Am I not getting enough sleep?  Do I need to take a different vitamin?  Maybe Flintstones aren’t enough for a grown up…

Are there times where you just find yourself at a loss for words?  What do you do?  Do you take an extra Flintstone the next morning?  What?

if you ask me, the tooth fairy is a B-

You know what?  Today is a great day.  The sun is shining AND it’s Friday, all at the same time.  I had a great paneed chicken poboy for lunch at Liuzza’s.  There is good music coming from the speakers of my computer.  If I were to give today a grade, it would be an A.

I think that I have just now decided to give things grades to express my feelings…JUST NOW!  This is going to revoluntionize my life!  I mean we could go with so many other rating systems and I know many have before me, but since I have spent the majority of my life in some sort of schooling – I like the idea of grading things.

Think about it…

Did you think about it?  I did, and it was great.  Here’s a foe-instance:

When someone asks how you’re doing on a great day, instead of saying “I feel like a million bucks!”  You can say, “I give this day an A!”.  Grades are way better than using money anyway.

Eli and Rachel are convinced this is the way that the tooth fairy works.  let me tell you about that conversation.

Rachel (who has recently lost her two front teeth): Dad! You know what?  When Jonathan was kid, he lost his tooth at his grandma’s and the toothfairy gave him $25!!!

Me: Oh (boy)!

Eli: Well, he obviously kept his teeth really clean…

See, the tooth fairy could leave grades along with her small, but equal $1 per tooth.  IT shouldn’t always be about the money and I am pretty sure the Bible says so.

So try it – grade something – it could be anything, simply anything!  I will give you a couple of warm-ups:

I think that the new facebook layout is a D-!

I think that Jesus is A+++++!

I think the fact that the Gators are not in March Madness is a crying shame, um, I mean, an F!

Okay, so…let’s hear yours – I can’t wait!

if a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

Today, I am wearing green – are you?  New Orleans, while known for its French heritage and cajun food, is a very diverse city and St. Patty’s day is greatly celebrated.  We have already had numerous parades and today in the part of the city known as the Irish Channel, there will be a party that goes on practically all day.

I do often wonder what our role as Christians is supposed to be on this day.  I mean, as another blogger put it, it seems as if Guinness has bought the holiday.  So what is our place.  Saint Patrick himself had a great part to play in taking the Gospel to Ireland.  He was apparently a great teacher as he used things like a three-leaf clover to teach about God.  He gave up a lot to do these things.  He did give us a great example to follow in chasing down the big plans of God and going to do what He has called us to do.

I don’t have anything against fun, but I am sure that St. Patrick would be saddened to know that a day that is named in his honor has been turned into a pinching, beer drinking holiday.  How is it that we always seem able to take something that should point us to God and make it something completely the opposite.

Maybe we would do well to remember what Patrick prayed, ”Christ beside me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me.”

true remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.

I begin with an apology – I am lame, in so many ways that to begin with that list would be an exercise in futility, because I would simply be unable to finish.

I think that this blog is simply going to have to take a new direction.  I am just not witty enough to keep you all entertained.  I am just going to go with the title and move in that direction – Andy Thinks Too Much – which was really what I wanted to write about anyway – to get my thoughts down and whoever wanted to read them could.

So, with that, this blog is going to be chronicle of what I am thinking.  Some days they will funny - other days deep; some days longer than you have time to read - others, just a short thought.  I hope I don’t simply ape a thousand blogs already out there and I hope against hope that I will not bore you to death.

I have a cousin who is(was) a blogger and has recently just shut her blog down.  And, I admit, I almost did the same.  But, I really do need this, so here is a new beginning – which God has been giving me  a lot of lately.

Andy